can_has_vodka | For lastvoyages: Twenty-Fourth Vision [video+spam]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Arkady dances around her living room with the chickens chasing her.]

We've been hit with a wave of cuteness!

[Okay, calm down Arkady. She pauses to catch her breath.]

Right! Time to be a responsible Warden and such.

[Serious face. Really. All right, so it's on the verge of crumbling, but still.]

Right! I need to know who's left with opposable thumbs, we still need to get everyone fed and watered and--rather urgently--let out of their rooms.

Also I need to know who needs out of their rooms. I'll be by presently!

[private to Scrad and Charlie]
Are you all right, lads?

[private to Admiral]
Right! I'm going to need several extra pounds each of fresh raw meat, veg and fruit, three twenty-pound bales of catnip, three bushels of tennis balls, a very large tub of vitamin powder and a two pound tub of wild mealworms. Also please put two large fishtanks into the pub, one salt, one fresh, and stock each with small bait fish.

Yes, I do know how to party.

[spam for deck--threadjack as wanted]
[Arkady, normally a purveyor of intoxicants, doesn't want anyone to have to go without. So, a bit after four PM every day of the Flood, she calmly lugs out an enormous bale of catnip, breaks it open and spreads a nice layer around on the deck near the pub windows, so she can watch the shenanigans. It takes her a while to finish up, and by the time she does the whole area smells of the fresh herb.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, that answers my question.

I'll take my meat medium rare.

[The feed is unfocused, the only thing visible a tail that occasionally flicks irritably through the picture. There's a loud growl just off-screen and a scrape of claws against cheap wood. Beatrix can't talk, but she could use a hand getting out. She'd prefer not to have to claw the door apart.]

Oh dear! No way of keying in your room number? Ah well, I'll patrol by. When you smell catnip give a little roar.

[She knew this stuff would be good for something.]

Of course! Breakfast as soon as I can sort out enough people to do prep. Do you need let out?

Nope. I was out at the start.

[Well the first thing to do, clearly, is see what's what with this whole...cat thing. Also escape from his room before his cat murders him. Fortunately he's resourceful, or at least is content to yowl and throw himself at the door until someone with hands takes pity and lets him out, after which he streaks down the hallway like a shot.

From there, it's just wandering, and it's only a matter of time before he gets up to the deck and...what.is.that.smell.

Yeah, he'll be wandering over to investigate.]

OO, all right. Give me a bit and I'll get you a nice beefsteak. Meet me in the kitchen?

Sure thing. Maybe I can try to let some other people out in the mean time. Hopefully.

Well, if you get stuck letting someone out, just let me know and I'll pop over. I wonder who I ordered the mealworms for?

[She gives that a try, but each paw is bigger than the entire gadget and bringing one down on it only results in a keyboard mash. Settling down to rest her head on her front paws, she gives a consenting rumble. She has no idea what catnip smells like but will wait for the fresh plant scent to come along.]

this is not cute it's inconvenient and i can't talk

:o(

[Thank goodness his paws are small enough to type with. It's totally cute, despite his protests.]

Be right there!

[It takes her ten minutes of checking doors--and letting trapped people out along the way--before this...smell...wafts under B's door. It is a fresh plant smell, except with added OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT.]

[A thin fist taps on the door.] Hello-oo!

Darling, you're a mongoose using emoticons. Your argument is invalid. Do you need anything?

[Arkady is just finishing up spreading out catnip.]

Oh hullo Spider! [HOW THE FUCK DID SHE KNOW]

I was just putting out catnip, since none of you can drink.

[B dozes through the wait, finding it much easier to get relaxed than she usually does, until she notices something strange and wow hey is that the catnip delivery? It smells good.

As per Arkady's resquest she roars, sauntering to the door and knocking her front paw against it. Open this door and give me whatever it is you've got. :|]

Is that what it is?

It smells...intriguing.

[Sniff sniff. Yeah. Weird. But the good kind of weird. The kind of weird he would normally eat or inject or whatever.]

My cat smokes cigarettes, but this is new.

Also you are absolutely from Farsight and it is kind of concerning to me.

[Not in a bad way?]

So...do you eat it?

Hullo! I did find you. All right. I'm going to pop inside to work the latch. Three, two...

[She appears next to the door. She's got catnip on her hands, sleeves, skirt and shoes from spreading it all over the deck.]

Here we are!

[She turns, perhaps unwisely, to unlatch the door.]

string

[NO WAIT HE WILL NOT PLAY WITH STRING.]

i mean no nothing i am fine

fine for a mongoose anyway

Oh yes. Catnip affects the same brain receptors in cats that cannabis does in humans, without the lack of energy. I looked it up!

You should try rolling him a blunt with some of this. I'm likely to have some left over after.

Farsight? I am? Oh dear. Why concerning? [must...not...pet...]

Oh, well, the key is to get the oils out. So you can chew the leaves, claw them, and all that, and once they're good and bruised you roll in them.

Are you sure? The cats are getting catnip and the dogs are getting tennis balls.

Oo also, I need to look you up to see what mongoose like eating. No snakes of course. [She grabs a big book and starts paging through it.]

That reminds me, does your snake need feeding too?

[Beatrix shrinks back when Arkady suddenly appears inside, but her surprise is quickly forgotten because that smell is just irresistible. Instead of tackling Arkady or pawing at her she creeps in close, sniffs her experimentally, and then licks at a stray catnip leaf on her skirt.

What is this? Iiiinteresting.]

STUCK IN DOG BOWL NEED SALT WATER TANK HATE THIS CRAP

Edited 2012-10-11 19:11 (UTC)

[She unlatches the door--and then looks down as she gets sniffed.]

Oh yes. I spread out a great lot upstairs by the pub. Catnip works for all cats, even the huge ones.

You look lovely. Do you need a hunt? I could open the CES.

OH! You're the one the saltwater tank is for!

What's your room number? I'll pop down and teleport you to it.

8-6 DID YOU SAY TELEPORT?

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